I can't fathom this amount of pain and hope never to have to. My cousin committed suicide about a decade ago, thinking he was worth more to his family that way (they were struggling financially). I know his kids and wife disagree.
We hadn't had the chance to see each other often as adults, but we'd revert to 12 year olds when we did. Regret he didn't reach out. Regret even more I wasn't more proactive after his mom died, which I knew he struggled with. There's always going to be a hole in my heart where he was.
Through high school was worried about my oldest daughter making a serious attempt after cutting her wrists in 8th grade as we sorted her meds and therapist. (She's 28 now and doing great.)
Please, anyone reading this thinking or beginning to think the world is better off without you: it wouldn't be. Talk to someone you trust. Call a hotline. There are people who love and care about you.
I, too, felt seriously suicidal for a while (20 years ago now), and my girlfriend has lost two cousins to suicide, so I've seen how it affects people.
Amongst other things, I realized, in my darkest hours, that there would be people who would miss me. And those might be people you don't even know yet.
Hang in there and know that I would miss you if you were no longer around.
You've heard that time heals all wounds. Not true. But with time you will learn to accept that you will always have a pocket of sadness deep within you. You will learn to cherish the time you had together as the true blessing and gift that it was. You will start to look for the other blessings that surround you again.
But that will take time. And effort.
For us it's been 19 years. And it was still yesterday. This is one of those weird years that all the days and dates on the calendar line up perfectly with that year. The week from hell starts next week. It's still hard. Our son didn't commit suicide. That seems like it would make it harder. I'm really sorry.
My wife found help and comfort with Compassionate Friends. That's a support group run by people that have lost a child, or sibling.
For me it was PM work (preventive maintenance) in "night storage" at the paint shop of the giant auto factory where I worked. This was where just-painted car bodies came after they rolled out of the ovens. It was dimly lit, smoky, and really hot. Nobody came back there unless they absolutely had to. So solitude came with the job. I signed up for all of it. I could stay busy, be alone to think, and just pace back and forth sometimes.
We each have to find our own path through. It does exist.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My son tried it last year. But he is is still here. And i can't imagine what it would have been like to loose a child. In my younger years I lost a friend by committing suicide, after days we tried to stop him from doing that. It was heartbreaking and the wound will never heal.
To know that you're not alone sometimes isn't enough. To ask for professionell help is not a shame.
I can't fathom this amount of pain and hope never to have to. My cousin committed suicide about a decade ago, thinking he was worth more to his family that way (they were struggling financially). I know his kids and wife disagree.
We hadn't had the chance to see each other often as adults, but we'd revert to 12 year olds when we did. Regret he didn't reach out. Regret even more I wasn't more proactive after his mom died, which I knew he struggled with. There's always going to be a hole in my heart where he was.
Through high school was worried about my oldest daughter making a serious attempt after cutting her wrists in 8th grade as we sorted her meds and therapist. (She's 28 now and doing great.)
Please, anyone reading this thinking or beginning to think the world is better off without you: it wouldn't be. Talk to someone you trust. Call a hotline. There are people who love and care about you.
And, Joe, glad you took that barrel out.
We never seem to view ourselves the way others do, only seeing the worst. I'm sorry for your loss.
I, too, felt seriously suicidal for a while (20 years ago now), and my girlfriend has lost two cousins to suicide, so I've seen how it affects people.
Amongst other things, I realized, in my darkest hours, that there would be people who would miss me. And those might be people you don't even know yet.
Hang in there and know that I would miss you if you were no longer around.
I’m good, brother. I’ve beat my demons down. You ain’t got no worries about me being around.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so so sad that he left the world like that. Leaving people behind who loved him and never will get over this truly.
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I'm Jessica, I'm a new subscriber, and I'm terribly sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.
Really sorry to read this. It's hard.
You've heard that time heals all wounds. Not true. But with time you will learn to accept that you will always have a pocket of sadness deep within you. You will learn to cherish the time you had together as the true blessing and gift that it was. You will start to look for the other blessings that surround you again.
But that will take time. And effort.
For us it's been 19 years. And it was still yesterday. This is one of those weird years that all the days and dates on the calendar line up perfectly with that year. The week from hell starts next week. It's still hard. Our son didn't commit suicide. That seems like it would make it harder. I'm really sorry.
My wife found help and comfort with Compassionate Friends. That's a support group run by people that have lost a child, or sibling.
For me it was PM work (preventive maintenance) in "night storage" at the paint shop of the giant auto factory where I worked. This was where just-painted car bodies came after they rolled out of the ovens. It was dimly lit, smoky, and really hot. Nobody came back there unless they absolutely had to. So solitude came with the job. I signed up for all of it. I could stay busy, be alone to think, and just pace back and forth sometimes.
We each have to find our own path through. It does exist.
Prayers for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My son tried it last year. But he is is still here. And i can't imagine what it would have been like to loose a child. In my younger years I lost a friend by committing suicide, after days we tried to stop him from doing that. It was heartbreaking and the wound will never heal.
To know that you're not alone sometimes isn't enough. To ask for professionell help is not a shame.
I wish you all the strength you need