The Power in Evolving
If you remain in the place you are, that's where you'll always be.
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Evolution isn’t just for Darwin anymore.
Nature forces adaptation. Survive or die. Simple math.
But humans? We get to choose our evolution. We can direct it. Change ourselves psychologically, deliberately, without waiting for some environmental pressure to make the choice for us.
So why do most of us stay stuck in lives we don’t even like?
Fear, mostly. Fear of the unknown. Fear that change might make things worse. The devil you know feels safer than the devil you don’t, even when the devil you know is making you miserable.
I lived this for years after I got out. PTSD, failed relationships, couldn’t hold a job, cycling through substance abuse and self-destruction. I knew I was miserable. I knew something had to change. But I was terrified that if I tried to fix it, I’d just fuck it up worse.
What finally broke me out wasn’t some inspirational moment or rock bottom revelation. It was Japanese philosophy.
Eight and a half years of living in a completely different culture taught me that the framework I’d been operating from was just one way to live. Not the only way. Not even necessarily the right way for me.
Japanese philosophy gave me language for what I’d been missing: Ikigai (purpose), Hansei (honest reflection), Kaizen (small continuous improvement), Kanketsu (completion and simplicity).
But I still had to do the hard part. I had to figure out what actually made my life worth living. Not what society said should make me happy. Not what other people valued. What I needed to build a life I could actually sustain.
Here’s how I did it:
I got honest about what would actually make me happy. Not rich. Not famous. Not impressive to anyone else. Just what would make getting up each day feel worth it.
For me? Building things that reflect my experience and help people avoid the mistakes I made. Living in a way that doesn’t destroy me. Being proud of what I create.
Then I mapped out what it would realistically take to get there. Not some elaborate 10-year plan. Just the next logical step, then the one after that.
On the hard days when I wanted to quit, I reminded myself to have patience and believe in myself. This sounds simple. It’s not. It’s brutal work when your brain is screaming that you’re failing, that it’s pointless, that you should just give up.
After several years of following this approach, with plenty of setbacks and course corrections, I got there. I succeeded.
Not in the venture capital sense. Not in the “quit your job in 90 days” guru sense. But in the sense that matters: I’m doing work that reflects who I actually am. I’m building something sustainable. I’m proud of what I create.
This is enough. I succeeded.
Your goal will probably be different. That’s the point. You have to figure out what “enough” looks like for you. Not what Instagram says. Not what your parents wanted. Not what would impress strangers at a party.
What makes your life worth living?
Because here’s the truth nobody wants to say: you don’t have to keep living in some miserable half-life you don’t even enjoy. You can choose to evolve. Deliberately. Psychologically. Right now.
It won’t be comfortable. It won’t be quick. But it’s possible.
Find your enough. That’s the happiness you’ve been looking for.